Christmas with the Dalias

We had settled into our apartment in Jacksonville for all of 4 days, barely long enough to get our internet hooked up and unpack, when we packed kids and presents (conspicuously absent was the imported Dominican Christmas Tree, which along with our seashell pictures were our sole decorations in our apartment), dosed kids with travel medicine, and headed north towards Charlotte.  We wondered at our decision when we saw all the traffic headed south, and realized people love to spent Christmas in Florida, and we were heading north.  

Four of the 9 little boys ages 2-4.  Sam intimidating Will by giving him a hug and once he gets a response from someone he continues the same behavior. (Clockwise:  Max, Marcus, Sam and Will)

The girl crew here, often led by Emmie and Alisa. We could tell our kids were Minnesotans (or else the only neglected ones), as they were the only ones running around without jackets, socks or shoes. 

(left to right: Tali, Ella, Alisa, Madeline, Emmie, Katie, and Addie)

We stayed with Erin and family for three fun-filled days.  Early Saturday, we headed to Sarah's house for a family get-together.  One of the top ten things my children love to do is to enter the Dalia Chaos.  This could perhaps qualify as a newly defined experience, encountered when one aligns with 17 siblings, two parents, 6 spouses and soon to be 21 grandchildren (all under the age of 8) in any public place or even private home.  My kids look forward to this, talk about this, long for it--to be one of the gang again.  They do not need any entertainment, they provide their own-- they just need space.  My girls dream of being part of a gang like this, and the idea of leading a gang just excites them.

Since Will was sleeping, Sam was the youngest and the first to open a present.

I realized that Max smiled in all the pictures where he had a present, but in few of the pictures where he did not.

This gathering could hardly be qualified as Dalia Chaos.  There were only two parents, 12 children, 3 spouses and 9 grandchildren.  Yet my children's yearnings were satisfied, and this was likely their best of all Christmas presents.  We had a wonderful meal, some Mitt Romney chit-chat, and kept all kids from danger.  The highlight was opening presents, my kids loved the attention of opening a present under the watchful eyes of 25 other oohs and aahs.  The only disappointment was that we were only together for 3 hours before we all had to leave.

Ella had the largest gift of the day, a gigantic horse book, which garnered much attention.

Madeline loved her American Girl Doll and books.

After the family get together, Erin and I prepared for Christmas, we helped the girls make cinnamon rolls for Santa Claus,  we chatted while the guys watched some football.  For Ryan it was like going back to his boyhood; sitting with his childhood friend (though I have heard Ryan would beat on Tom and Mark some), watching football and reminiscing about Greg's glasses, someone's high pitched siren cry, and the neighborhood football games.  Eating pulled pork that Mark had smoked only added to the appeal.  I still chuckle sometimes at the happenstance of my sister marrying my husband's neighbor.

The boys weren't always as social as the girls were.

Everyone was good-natured about Sam yelling "this is dumb", and "stupid", and all sorts of other offenses.  Luckily he entertained with sweetness just as often.

Christmas morning chaos

Madeline treasured her gum, a gift from Ella.

Another smile from a happy boy.

The girls all loved playing together, crafting together and singing together, whenever we had the girls car (because of course, we divided the cousins along gender lines when driving places), they all sang along to the Peter Breinholt Christmas CD.  The boys enjoyed cars and trains.  We had such a fun time together, that when we left Monday morning, we pulled away a crying Max again, who sobbed for 45 minutes while intermittently yelling at us to stop and turn the car around.  We weren't able to get him to take his travel medicine until a good 2 hours into the drive.  And we also put a damper on an otherwise great Christmas cd, as when we listened to Peter Brienholt the next day in the car, Madeline said she could barely listen to it because it reminded her so much of singing with Katie.  That aside, we had a wonderful time, and realized how much we enjoy being with family.

The girls before we went to church on Christmas day. (Katie, Ella, Madeline and Addie)

Sam's personality matched his expression.  As usual, there was someone at church who grew up with Ryan.  It's an ongoing joke we have that any church we visit will have at least one family from North Ogden, UT.  Having grown up in the Appalachians, an hour from church, I don't have that same network.

Marcus, Mark, Katie, Addie and Erin.

Dominican Republic- 10 years later

Ten years ago, in a trip that tested the short bonds of our marriage, Ryan and I traveled to Haiti.  We left Utah during the winter olympics, even when many of the events were being held in little Midway, where we lived, for an opportunity to travel to a Caribbean country (we were thinking in terms of the Bahamas).  We were checking out an orphanage for my parents; who were interested in becoming involved in charity work.This was back in the days when you could pack two big suitcases a person, and a large carry-on.  In our suitcases, we carried a disassembled cement mixer, which is quit heavy, even when dispersed into 4 different suitcases.

  

We had flown into Miami, and neither of us had made hotel reservations, so we hopped on a shuttle that would take us to a Holiday Inn.  When we got to the hotel at midnight, it was full, but the shuttle driver assured us he knew another motel he could take us to.  This happened to be a rent-by-the hour/by-the-week motel in downtown Miami.  We dared not touch anything in our room, we laid out our sleeping bags on the bed, didn't dare shower, and left at the crack of dawn.  Ryan said more swear words that night that I've heard from him in 10 years combined.

The rest of our trip was similar to this, it was not a luxurious vacation on a Caribbean beach.  It was pretty hard work, and quite an adventure.   We had heard the DR was a nice visit, so our last day, we took a bus over to the DR- hoping to visit a nice beach once on our trip. When we arrived the DR was going to charge us some minute amount of money for being American, we decided to go back to Haiti without seeing the Dominican Republic, which we have both regretted. 

With Ed and Jayne in the Dominican Republic, we decided to give the other 1/3 of the island of Hispanola another go.  A lot more planning went into this trip.  We lined up our trip to the Dominican Republic with a month-long rotation at the Mayo Clinic in Jacksonville, Florida, so we would be gone for close to 6 weeks.  We loaded our car, and started out at 4:00 pm on Friday, watching the temperature climb from -2 all the way to 80 by the time we reached Miami on Sunday afternoon.

  

To keep things fun on our trip, we stopped at Chick-fil-e in Georgia, a luxury since there is only one Chick-fil-e in all of MN.  We watched movies, and everyone learned how to play on the IPAD, including Max.  As soon as  I learned to give everyone a sliver of a travel sickness pill at the beginning of the driving day, our car improved in smell.  

This time I made reservations on Priceline.  I have a sort of addiction with the "Name your own Price" feature on Priceline.  I am enamored with the possibility of getting the absolute lowest price for a room, and I love the gamble of a hotel choice (unlike our first Miami trip, I insist of 3 star or above).  Our children LOVE to stay in hotels, so each night was a treat when we pulled into our hotel.

Our first day, we visited Happyland.  Max said, "we went down so fast, it made my mouth scream open".  Ella looks terrified, but this was her 7th time.

We stayed in an apartment on the temple grounds about half the time we were in the Dominican Republic.  The temple is very beautiful, and we all enjoyed walking around the temple grounds.  One evening, Ryan and I walked down the street to get an ice cream cone, and then walked around the temple grounds at dusk.  I love eating an ice cream at dusk in December as I take a walk.  

Reminiscent of my mission, I got up every morning to exercise.  I relished running and walking around the park next to the temple, with the warm Carribean air wafting a promise of another gorgeous day.

Our second day, we visited the church camp in the mountains of Bonao, where we experienced a zip line, a man-made merry-go-round, a rip orange grove, and the magnificent mango trees.

Grandpa winding Madeline up the Merry-go Round.  This Merry-go Round literally takes your breathe away.

I recognized many of the regions in the Dominican Republic, and the experience was  more familiar because of reading the wonderful books, "In the Time of Butterflies" and "The Feast of the Goat".  Ryan read and enjoyed, "The Brief and Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao".

"Sam-well" as the Dominicans called him made friends where-ever we went.  By the time we got back to the states, he would walk around chanting "Samwell, Samwell".  Here he is chatting up a vendor outside of Los Tres Ohos (Three Lakes), an open air limestone cave on the outskirts of Santo Domingo. 

This is the third of three lakes, and it looks like something out of the Pirates of the Carribean. 

On our third day, we went to the beach, which had been much anticipated. Max spent hours laying in the surf, rolling with the water.  He also spent a lot of time collecting seashells.

Sam loved "going in deep" and having an adult swim him around.  And resting-once. 

These girls couldn't have been happier, playing in the water, on the sand, and collecting seashells, all with the company of grandparents and parents.

The sand and the water still make me dreamy.

The kids got the hang of the buffet pretty quickly, requesting noodles and cheese, and choosing all their colors from the plethora of sweets on the dessert table.

They routinely requested buffet, as the dinner or breakfast of choice when we got back to the states.  We loved the fresh bananas and pineapple, along with the fresh juices.  Our favorite food, though was the great avocados, so tasty with everything.

One of the beautiful birds we saw.

Sam loved to visit the Flamingo pool, and often tried to dodge the barrier ropes to swim with them.

Everyone enjoyed playing in the sand with Grandma. Madeline and Ella also looked forward to opening a gift every night, a Dominican tradition.  The kids loved reading books with their grandparents, and we all enjoyed a fun game of Dominoes, another Dominican tradition.

Sweet boy.

Max has this same look in an alarming number of pictures, it's hard to capture the joy he routinely experiences.  After the beach, we headed to a small church to do a seashell picture.  Max loved a picture of Captain Moroni heading up a battle, and the girls loved beautiful pictures of the temple.  This made me chuckle.

We enjoyed the time we had together to play and talk with no other obligations.  Ryan loved the ready supply of pina colada and frozen lemonaide.

Ryan and I with the Christopher Columbus house in the background.  We enjoyed the rich history of the DR. 

Still at the square where Christopher Columbus lived with a gun pointed out at the water, and the beautiful blooming Bourgainvillea bush.  I tried everyone's patience at the market trying to find a necklace made from bulls horns. One of the memento's from a vacation to remember the time we all kept our mouths closed to prevent swear words or snarky comments.

Max was crying the whole way to the airport, and Ella kept peppering him with argumentative banter. He cried all the through the airport, insisting I carry him.    The promise of Angry Birds when we got on the plane pacified him only a little. Instead of a cement mixer, we came back with pounds of seashells, and a mini Christmas tree donated by Grandma Jayne- as the girls couldn't stand not having a tree for Christmas.  The airport staff was very friendly to us as the largest family there, and assisted us at every step.

After all the customs, the kids sitting outside the Miami airport watching a movie while we wait for our shuttle.

Finally on the shuttle back to the Miami hotel.  The end of our Dominican trip, but the beginning of our Florida trip.  We drove to Jacksonville that night, arriving at our apartment at 3 am.  

We delighted in our (second) trip to the Dominican Republic;  the people, the food, the landscape,the weather- all aspects were so lovely.  

Recent Violin Recitals

I read recently in, "The Blessing of a Skinned Knee", about an old philosophy that good parenting requires 1/3 love, 1/3 discipline, and 1/3 sitting on your hands.  As I like concrete ideas, I immediately applied this to violin practice time.  I like efficiencies, and am someone who will often take little things for-granted.  I will often not notice the efforts my children make.  Now, when I sit with them to practice violin, I spend about 10 minutes of time marveling at what the child has accomplished, and pay a sincere compliment, allowing time to show me new songs they've learned or new ideas they want to try.  I spend about 10 minutes of time trying to learn something new, or improve technique.  For the 10 minutes of sitting on my hands, I will leave the room, while they finish practicing.

In an effort to remind myself to not take for-granted, I make a conscious effort every morning and every night to hug and kiss each child, and comment on my gratefulness for their existence.

Madeline playing "Happy Farmer" .  

Ella playing "Minuet 2"

The Last October Hurrahs Brought....

... a lot of clarity.  Looking back on photos, I see that we spent a lot of time outdoors. Each outing was prefaced with, "This is the last nice day we'll have for six months".  With such realization, we off-loaded any other responsibilities and headed outdoors.  We could double justify the many outings because Ella's birthday is in October, and we celebrated her birthday many times.

We headed to our favorite near-by state park.   This time, we walked a long the river, enjoyed the beautiful fall color (which we reputed to be the best in 10 years due to the alignment of many factors), and finished off with a picnic and s'mores.  

After the s'mores, we headed for our last family bike-ride of the season.  Regrettably, we have no pictures, because they would tell the story much better than I could.  I told Ella she could earn three cinnamon bears if she would ride Madeline's bike about 1/4 of a mile on a flat wide trail.  She grudgingly agreed, and started out fine, slow, but fine.  Then she realized what she was doing, and she turned her knees in, and she started wobbling a little.  She averted disaster by driving off the trail and crashing in the ditch, something I remember doing myself as a child. 

She was furious with everyone, insisting she would never ride a two wheel bike again. She would would stay on the tag along indefinitely.  A picture flashed through my mind of Ella leaving for college, not knowing  how to ride a two wheel bike, still peddling a long behind my bike on the tag along, and I wondered whether I had a greater responsibility to recognize her right to choose for herself, or to persist that she continue to practice riding a two wheel bike so that she could learn that she could do hard things, things which she thought might be impossible.

At one point, Max really wanted a turn on the tag along, so Ella rode his little 3 year old bike.  She was further humiliated by this, and by the time we got back to the car, she was barely saying a pleasant word to anyone.  I think we'll try again next year with her to ride a two wheel bike.  

October is also the month that reminds me the most of living in Croatia and Slovenia.  The colder weather, the harvesting of the last fruits and vegetables meant that the women started to cook.  Our last meal from our garden was a cherry apricot mint lassi, along with roasted swiss chard, and a roasted eggplant, red pepper sandwich with fresh mozzarella.  It was memorably delicious.

Halloween 2012 and recent conversations

A few notable conversations have caused me post reflection giggles, such as a conversation I had with Madeline and Ella Thursday morning.  We (I) woke up late, and as I woke the girls up, I told them they didn't have to worry about practicing violin in the morning, they could practice with their dad when he got home from work.
Madeline: "Oh, great, that's just what I need, Dad always gets mad when we practice violin together."  To which Ella replied with just as much vehemence, "Yeah, he does, but at least he apologizes when he's done being mad".

The other situation occurred after another violin practice with Ella, in which above dad became angry with Ella and then apologized.  This was a week after after Halloween.  Ella was so grateful to her dad for apologizing that she made both of us cards.  My card simply said, "Mom, Rest in Peace", as in the tombstones that decorate Halloween:  RIP.  I told her I hoped to be able to do that that very evening and that I appreciated her consideration.  Ryan's card was a little more difficult to decipher, and he asked me what I thought of the picture of the girl who appeared to be singing boisterously.  I replied that she appeared to be singing.  He then asked Ella about the girl, and Ella said, "Ooh that's me vomiting.  Because you got up and took care of me when I vomited."

our blue-eyed tiger

Halloween was downright balmy this year, contrary to previous years when the temperature was reminiscent of frigid food freezers, we were out with 40 degree weather and no breeze.  In the car for the previous month, there had been on-going negotiations about what everyone would be for Halloween.  This was initiated on my part to prevent last minute claims of negligence with overwhelming evidence of the need to spend 40.00 on a brand-new costume.  After several go rounds, Madeline and Ella decided to be dragons, Max followed suit, and gratefully this is one area where Sam is not opinionated,  so we were going to have a lair of dragons tromping out of the Swapp residence on Halloween.  

The one dragon from the entire lair to show face on Halloween

We hit all the second hand stores a month ahead of time, and found great dragon costumes for everyone except Sam, for whom we remembered we had a bat costume that would fit him perfectly.  The day before Halloween, Ella had emphatically declared she was wearing the bat costume, regardless of the fact that is was size 12-18 months, Madeline decided she must be a vampire, regardless of the fact that we had no such costume, and Max decided to wear the Tiger costume. I just smiled and made sure my camera was charged so that I can be sure to show Ella the picture of the bat costume that came to right above her knees and elbows, and amazingly fit across her torso. 

Ella was very proud to be a bat, Max loved having a girl his age go with him, and Madeline created her own vampire costume.  

Ella off-set the size difference by wearing striped tights beneath her costume.

Trick or treating was most magical for Max and Sam, who had never imagined a circumstance when they would be handed more candy than they could carry or hold.  Sam learned the names of the important candy-bars, and reminded me when we went to Hobby Lobby two days ago, "OOH LOOK Mommy, IT'S A MILKYWAY, and there's a SNICKERS".  Why do store displays always come between me and my children?

Here's another look at the bat costume last year when Sam wore it on Halloween.

Have you gotten "The Karma"

Last night, I drove Ella to the toy story to choose a web kinz for a friends birthday party.  We aren't often by ourselves in the car, and since it was just the two of us, I brought along my cell phone thinking I would catch up on some  phone calls.  When Ella asked if I believed that crows brought "the karma", I put away my phone, turned off the radio, and settled in for an interesting conversation. I asked her if she was wondering whether I believed that crows brought bad or good karma. 

 "Ooh, I already know they bring bad Karma, I saw it on a movie", she responded.

Obligatory parental  warning followed, "Well, Ella, not everything they say on movies is true".

"Yes, it is", she was a little offended, "Besides, I know it's true  because I got the bad karma today.    Last night I was mean to Sam and Max (she told Max that he was disgusting when he vomited ), and today at recess we saw four crows, and my Karma was that I started itching all over, and am still itching.  And I know that Jack, Zach and Grant also got the Karma because there were four crows and they were being mean to me.  I just don't know how they got it."

 I can't be sure what I said to Ella afterwards, I was still trying to process her story.  She soon asked me to turn on the music, and we chatted about more mundane things.  I was still smiling about it when I told Ryan last night.  I was reminded again of what a surprise Ella has been and continues to be in our lives.  

She requested to go to the pumpkin patch/apple orchard for her birthday a couple of weeks ago, and we enjoyed spending the time with her.

"Can I choose a pumpkin I can't carry"

 

Max and Sam are looking off at the pumpkins

Conferring about which direction to head down the corn maze

She did indeed scour the entire pumpkin patch for the largest pumpkin she could find, and then asked me to carry it.

Gratefully, Max and Sam preferred the small pumpkins.  Not to sound like a scrooge, but the pumpkins at Aldi were much cheaper (I didn't once tell the kids that).

Sam shared his apple with the goats, then tried to take a few more bites.

"Momiya, I be carried"

Ella steered clear of the Llamas after one of them spit at her.